Pots- Collectors Edition.

A friend told me a story today.
This story, actually.
I'd heard it before.
I'd read it before.
I'd studied it before.
But during our conversation, it revealed a new depth that I had not noticed before.

2 Kings 4

New International Version (NIV)

The Widow’s Olive Oil

4 The wife of a man from the company of the prophets cried out to Elisha, “Your servant my husband is dead, and you know that he revered the Lord. But now his creditor is coming to take my two boys as his slaves.”

² Elisha replied to her, “How can I help you? Tell me, what do you have in your house?”

“Your servant has nothing there at all,” she said, “except a small jar of olive oil.”

³ Elisha said, “Go around and ask all your neighbors for empty jars. Don’t ask for just a few.⁴ Then go inside and shut the door behind you and your sons. Pour oil into all the jars, and as each is filled, put it to one side.”

⁵ She left him and shut the door behind her and her sons. They brought the jars to her and she kept pouring. ⁶ When all the jars were full, she said to her son, “Bring me another one.”

But he replied, “There is not a jar left.” Then the oil stopped flowing.

⁷ She went and told the man of God, and he said, “Go, sell the oil and pay your debts. You and your sons can live on what is left.”

This woman.

She is in a tight spot. 

She just lost her husband. 

She is about to lose her sons. 

She is desperate for help.
 She cries out. 
She is distraught. 
Her life is spiraling well outside what she can handle alone. 
She is pleading.
"How can I help?" He asks.
But you notice he doesn't pause for her to supply an answer. 
He doesn't wait to see what she may have in mind.
"What do you already have to work with?"
"Nothing! But.. but this small jar of oil." 
Which to her is still nothing. 

Because what is a small jar of oil worth when you are losing everyone you love? 

When you need to pay a ransom, or a debt, to be able to have your family in tact.
But he tells her, "Go ask all your neighbors for empty jars."
This is huge.
He's saying, "Go ask for help."
"Let people know that you are in need."
And then he says "Don't ask for just a few."
Be serious. 
How easy is it to ask for help?
Could you walk over to your neighbors house and ask for a bowl?
"Hi, I'm collecting bowls from everyone in the neighborhood."
"Do you have any bowls I could have?"
"I was just told to collect bowls. Lots of them."
Could you do that for everyone and every home within a 5 block radius of your house? 
How bout a mile?
Two miles?
"Don't ask for just a few."
What kind of faith this woman has to have.
How many times do you think people turned her away?
"Oh, I have bowls. But you are not getting anything of mine."
"You know, I just don't have any bowls to spare."
"Your story is sad and I wish I could help but I'm sure you'll get plenty of bowls from other people."
"I really don't see how giving you a bowl is going to help?"
"You should have bowls of your own!"
And still she went from house to house.
"Don't ask for just a few."
I imagine she gathered pots until her home was full of them.
I imagine that it took her a long while to do this.
Walking to all her neighbors.
Every person that she knows.
Every person that she doesn't know.
Asking for spare empty pots.
For whatever reason though, People gave her pots.
Maybe they thought she was crazy.
Maybe they took pity on her.
However, these people had to display the same type of faith that our woman is.
Faith that collecting these pots is going to accomplish something.
So she asks, and collects, on faith.
And the neighbors give her pots, on faith.

And then she takes her small jar of oil, which to her is nothing, and begins to fill the pots.
And fill the pots.
And fill the pots.
Until
EVERY.
SINGLE.
POT.
IS.
FULL.

Can you even imagine the joy she felt as her tiny pot of oil continued pouring well after she KNEW it should be empty?
Can you fathom the relief she must have felt?
Can you see her arms shaking, pouring the oil, her breathing quick as tears pour down her face?
Can you hear her calling to her sons to remove each pot after it is filled?
Can you see her glancing around the room at all the pots she gathered?
Can you imagine how her heart must have beat faster knowing that all her asking, all her begging, all her humiliation at gathering those pots was going to be well worth it?
Because God is working a miracle in her home? 

God provided for this woman. He provided the oil.
But She had to gather the pots.
And Her neighbors had to provide her with that support.
And in turn, her neighbors were rewarded with oil that they could purchase from her.
Oil that may have been very hard to come by, suddenly is available.

Because She had the faith to ask for the pots.
And her neighbors had the faith to give them to her.




Now tell me why I shouldn't be crying?


Because this... THIS... is fundraising.
It is work. 
It is done purely on faith.
It is hard.
It is humiliating.

God will provide what we need with this adoption.
I have no doubt that God will provide for us.
But we HAVE to ask for pots.
And our neighbors... 
and friends... 
and family... 
and people who care...
have to be willing to provide the pots to us.

So God can work a miracle in our home.

So here's my question (and I don't enjoy asking):

Do you have any empty pots?



We are collecting.

Flash Fund Raising

We have excellent news!
Over the Christmas and New years holidays, We were able to collect the very last of our paperwork needed for the home study!!! We mailed it to the agency and the home study agency has called and offered to let us go ahead and start the home visits portion of the home study while we wait for the divorce certificate to come in.
This is absolutely awesome news!

However, We were informed that we need to go ahead and pay for the home study now. Up front. Before we can start the home visits.


Ya'll know we've been fund raising for months.
Ya'll have made donations.
Ya'll have shopped the yard sales.
Ya'll have purchased our crafts.


And it is the saddest truth that nearly every cent we have fund raised up to this point is already spent.
On the various paperwork and things that we had to chase around and get gathered.
We have approximately $400 left from all our fundraising to apply towards the home study fee.

The fee is $2,050. This is not for paperwork.
This is the fee that the agency charges to write our home study.
And we have $400.
We are scrambling to come up with ways to meet the rest that is needed.

And I am struggling in my heart to finally be at a point where we can do this home study only to be held back by needing to pay this fee!

So This is a Flash Fund Raising effort. We need this fee covered quickly.
If you'd like to make a donation, you can make one here at the blog in the Chip In widget on the sidebar. If you're uncomfortable making a donation through the Chip In, but you'd still like to make a donation- Contact me and I can give you our mailing address.

Any amount.
Any donation.
Seriously.
If you are feeling called to help us, now is a perfect time.


We need these funds as quickly as possible.
If you feel led to make a donation, please do.
Please donate exactly as much as you are led to donate.

Our family is so thankful for every donation that has been made and we continue to be thankful for every donation that will be made. This adoption could not happen as quickly as we need for it to happen without the help of donation.

And, in the mean time,  we will be scrambling together whatever other funds we can.

Thank you!

Laying Low.

With the end of the year only days away, We find ourselves just nearly finished collecting our paperwork for the home study. We still have ONE document to obtain. I never EVER thought that our own government would be the one to drag us through such a long wait trying to get things done for this adoption. The Child's country? Yes. We came into this adoption knowing that life moves a touch slower in most of Eastern Europe. They still work with physical paper files over there. The system isn't computerized at all.

And after waiting 12 weeks for a divorce certificate, I'm not sure that being computerized helps.
However, We've been told to go ahead and mail in everything else. So as soon as the holidays pass, our homestudy paperwork will be in the mail. It would have happened the week of Christmas, but our entire household came down with the sickness. Just a cold? the flu? Who knows, but it has knocked me off my feet and the children are pitiful. We went in to the urgent care yesterday. I thank God for our insurance every time we have to see a doctor. Without it, I have no idea how we would afford medical care.

I don't know if you've seen it or not, but there has been an uproar in the adoption community over the last few weeks. Russia has completely shut down their adoption program with the US. There are rumors that the Ukraine will follow. Russia and Ukraine are THE most popular Eastern Europe adoption programs. They each have an overabundance of children who are in need of families and they were both fairly stable. Expensive, yes, but fairly stable. Now, I really don't know how this is going to affect the children living in those countries. One can only hope that other parents from other countries will be able to continue adopting from there and offer those children a different life than an orphanage setting can provide.  I don't know.

I do know that it is very scary.

Adoption programs change without warning. They close without warning.
And it doesn't matter how much money or time you have invested. It doesn't matter if your heart is already invested. It doesn't matter if in your heart of hearts that the child is already yours. Adoption programs change and close without warning.

The Child is not living in Russia or the Ukraine so for the moment we are just sitting back, holding our breath and watching. And while my heart aches for the children who may never grow up in a family because of the choices their government is making.... For the sake of one little boy who is already my son in my heart- We are going to lay low, stay quiet, work on our adoption as quickly as we can, and wait.

We've been told to be very careful not to mention where The Child lives, so if you know, Please do not post it here or on Facebook or anywhere else that is public online. If this blog up and disappears one day, it won't be because I don't want to share our journey anymore. It will be because I value the safety of our child (and bringing him home!) above whatever silly words I could ever type here.

We've also been informed that we may need to stop doing online fundraising. If that happens, it happens.  I am to the point that if they asked us to go into witness relocation for the remainder of the adoption, We would drop everything and do it.

God laid this on us. He lead us to The Child and said "Here."
He never promised this would be easy.
He never promised there would not be very scary stuff going on.
He never said it would happen on my timetable.

I can not pretend to say that I understand what God is doing here or that I can see where he is leading us. All I can say is that we will do everything within our power and ability to see this adoption through and bring home our son. We will work through each step as it comes to us and try not to worry about whats going on that is outside of our control.

This is not the first time nor, I am sure, will it be the last time that I am thankful that The Child can not be aware of what is going on. It is hard enough for me to process and deal with and I'm an adult. I pray he is playing with toys. I pray he is laughing. I pray he is running around giggling and throwing toys and being tickled and hugged. I pray he is having a normal (happy, fun) day for a 4 year old boy in an orphanage. I pray he is sleeping well and getting plenty to eat. I pray he is learning to speak. I pray, I pray, I pray.

And I pray, one day, he is able to do all those things in our family.
Until that day, We are going to lay low.
On our knees, in prayer.

An Apology

I follow adoption blogs.
I do it.
I enjoy reading other people's experiences.
Truthfully, and it is never more evident than when reading multiple adoption blogs, Every family is different. Every parent is different and Every Single Child is different. Every adoption experience is different. They can be a treasure trove of information, the adoption blogs.
So I follow them.

I followed a friend's adoption blog from beginning to end. She started her adoption journey almost 4 years ago. I followed her blog through her home study, dossier, match, and trip to pick up. I've followed her blog (and been blessed enough to be able to spend time with her) through out the last year that she has had her beautiful little girl home.

My friend would post sporadically.  Possibly once every two weeks. Seldom more often than that.  As a reader, as a friend, as a person concerned about her and her family and the process, I couldn't understand why she would go such long spells without making a post. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't feel compelled to share every tiny fragment of the process.

Now, I understand.
The adoption process is an awful lot of waiting.
There are weeks and weeks of absolutely nothing happening.
Sometimes, there is just nothing to share.

I've tried to keep this blog upbeat.
I haven't always hit the mark but I've tried.
And during these weeks upon weeks upon weeks of waiting....
I haven't had much of anything upbeat to say about our adoption process.

So I need to apologize to you. I'm sorry I haven't been posting here.
What I have been feeling and thinking about our current place in the process isn't very kind and probably shouldn't be said at all. Please forgive me?
I promise that I will post as soon as anything happens.

For the time being, Our little family is trying to focus on the holidays.
Magdalena's 4th birthday is this upcoming Monday. We are having a small party for her on the 8th. Nothing big but it will be just big and special enough for her. Just big and special enough to keep me mentally occupied for a while prepping for it.

Then we have Christmas. This year was going to be a rather thin Christmas for the kids. Charlie and I had already decided to forgo any gifts for ourselves. (If anyone is planning to get Charlie or Me any gifts, please consider making a donation towards the adoption instead? That would be a wonderful gift for us.) But that same friend whose adoption blog I followed, She cleaned out her children's toys and gifted so many nice things for us to wrap and have under the tree for Magda and Mordecai. I am so thankful for her kindness.  We already had a small amount of money set aside to shop the thrift stores for toys for the kids but her gifts will certainly fill up the area under the tree.

I am thankful that our children are still young enough to not notice the difference between a brand new toy and a cleaned up used toy, also. It helps me deal with the Mommy Guilt, knowing this.

Then we have Mordecai's 2nd birthday on January 1st. Once again, thankful for thrift store toys. Thankful he's young enough to still probably be more excited by a big box than any brand new gift we might could buy for him.

After these holidays, We are hoping that our paperwork that we have been waiting on will Finally be delivered. I really do not expect to see any forward movement in our adoption until after new years.



I can't make a post without thinking about The Child.
He will be spending his 3rd Christmas in the Orphanage.  I don't even know if they mark Christmas there. It may be just another day. He may have no idea what he is missing. The same as he may have no idea what he is missing without a family in his life.  The same as he may have no idea what he is missing without Jesus in his life.

Here I am, Thankful that my children at home are not so spoiled (or so jaded) that they will be happy to receive used toys and The Child may have never unwrapped a toy. He may have never had anything presented to him that is meant specifically for him.  The Child may never have had a toy that is his. New or used.

It makes me cry, thinking about it.

We believe his birthday is in March. He will be 4. Only months younger than Magda. I can not help but compare the life our daughter has led to the life The Child has led. Magda will have a 4th birthday surrounded by family, Her mom and dad and brother, Grandparents, Aunt and Uncle, and friends... all who love and care about her.  All people who have had an active role in her daily life. She will have cake! and icecream! and gifts! (even if they are used.)
The Child? Will he even know that it is his birthday? Will he have anyone to celebrate his birth? Will he have anyone to love on him? To make him feel cherished? Will he have cake? Will he have gifts? Will he be made to feel like nothing else in the world matters on that specific day because it is HIS birthday and that his birth is the most wonderful and beautiful moment that SOMEONE is so very thankful for?

I can't answer any of those questions.
It hurts.

I know that we will not have him home for his 4th birthday.  By the way things are going, We will be lucky to have him home by next Christmas.


I can't keep thinking about this.
It makes me cry.


~

A short update

I should probably put some kind of update here.
The thing is... I don't like blogging when I'm down and the last few weeks?
I've been feeling a little down.

The kidnapped Fundraiser went wonderfully! We were able to raise $217. It's so great that we have friends so willing to step out and ask on our behalf. That is $217 towards the home study payment.

And this new fundraiser through Celebrating Home is open until Nov 24th.  Every little bit helps towards that home study payment.

Whenever we finally get to the home study payment.

It is hard, this waiting.
We've been waiting on 4 state clearances and a divorce decree for nearly a month now.
It's hard not to feel dragged down.
It's hard not to feel angry and frustrated.

We have our "normal" life. We do our normal day to day things. But in the back of my mind is that angry little voice nagging: "Where are they?! What's taking so long!? Why is this process so difficult?! Why does it eat away so much time!? God, What are you doing here!?"

I've convinced myself that God is dragging this wait out to give us plenty of time to fund raise the home study payment. It doesn't make me feel any better. It makes me feel responsible for the length of the wait. If only we could fund raise quicker, God would let us move on. And that isn't fair. I don't have any control over or say in how God decides his timing...

Yesterday, I sat and watched the 45 seconds of video that we have of The Child.
Over and over and Over.
That's another thing. Forty Five Seconds. That's ALL the video that we have of him and it's likely all we will ever have until we meet him.
Forty Five Seconds.
I've completely memorized the entire clip.
I could give a play by play, down to reciting the gibberish lines that he tries to speak.
I could almost recite the "Eastern European" language the orphanage worker uses in the video.
And that worker.
I dream about her and The Child.
I haven't had a dream about him without Her right there beside him.
I dream of her holding The Child, rocking him to sleep.
I dream of her singing sweetly to him.
I dream of her calling his name, such a tender melody, as he runs into a hug.

I pray, so hard, that she does these things.
It hurts my heart to think that no one may be loving our son.
So I pray that she is.
Because I don't know how long this is all going to drag out.
And my tears are not a comfort to anyone.
So I pray that this orphanage worker is holding our son.
I pray she is singing to him.
I pray she is loving him.
Because He deserves love.

Kidnapped. Held Hostage. Ransom.

Please view THIS POST first.

Kidnapping really isn't something to make light of.
We're using the terms in our fundraising efforts
but I've been uncomfortable with it from the beginning.
People are taken from their families every day.
Children are stolen.
Held hostage.
Sometimes, if the family is lucky, there is a ransom.
A little glimmer of hope that their family member is alright and can be returned to them.

In this adoption, I've heard a lot about the fee's that we have to pay.

That's why we are fundraising, after all. To pay those fees.
I've come to think of those fee's-
That $20- $25,000 that this adoption will end up costing
As The Child's Ransom.


He has lost his family.
LOST.
He is suffering the greatest loss a child can have and it's possible he doesn't even know it.
He's never lived in a family setting.
But he has lost his family.

And now, he is being held by his country,
(while we try to jump through all the hoops
fill out all the paperwork
and sign documents in our own blood)
For a ransom.

A ransom we MUST pay to be able to allow him to have a family.

If you are reading this because a friend or family member has contacted you and said
"I'm kidnapped, being held hostage by a family who is fundraising for an adoption. Help me raise my ransom?"

Please, consider it. The ransom you contribute towards today isn't really your friend or family members ransom.

It's The Child's ransom.

Thank You.

Saturday Kidnapping

I've been teasing about a fundraiser that we'll be doing this Saturday.

Now I'll tell you what it is all about.

We have searched out and found 7 people who have volunteered to be Virtually Kidnapped. 

So for a few hours on Saturday, These volunteers will be held hostage until they are able to raise their ransom. 

So if you are contacted by someone who sent you to this blog saying, "I've been virtually kidnapped by a family who is fundraising for an adoption," You're at the right blog.

You can read about our family HERE.

You can read about our motivations to adopt HERE.

You can read about when we were Matched with The Child 

and Why we are adopting Internationally HERE.

You can read about how The Child's life will be changing HERE.

You're welcome to read back through the entire blog if you'd like. =)

So this event is going to work like so:

The people we have kidnapped have been given a ransom amount. They then have the day of Saturday to raise that amount. Every ransom will go towards the adoption fee's. 

The easiest way to help one of our kidnapped volunteers is to make a donation with the Chip In account, in the upper corner of the screen. It would be helpful if you note who's ransom you are donating towards.

Another way you can contribute towards a ransom is to mail your amount to us.  If you'd prefer to send in a check via the mail, check with your kidnapped person and they can give you our address. Or you can mail it to them and they will get it to us.

Another way is to hand them money in person. I trust these volunteers so if you hand them cash they will get it to us. They volunteered because they are eager to help us raise the funds needed to move along in this adoption process.

Thank You! If you have any questions You're welcome to contact us through our Facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/HughesFamilyAdoption

-Hughes Family.