Motivation

I just got an email from the worker with the paperwork to request that The Child be put on hold for us.
We need to print it, fill it out, have it notarized, scan it and email it back as quickly as possible then our worker will email the forms to the country where The Child is.

I am excited and terrified at the same time.  Why do those two emotions walk hand in hand?

Once he is placed on hold, The Child is waiting for US. He isn't just another child living in an orphanage  in need of a family.  He is The Child who has a family working toward him and he is waiting for us.

He won't know that. His life won't change in the slightest during the next few months.  He will wake up each morning to spend his day with the Workers and other children at the orphanage.  He will play.  He will have meals.  He will laugh and cry and do all of his normal daily activities with no knowledge that he has a family working to come see him.  A family working to bring him home.

He won't know until we visit him for the first time.  And even then, he may not understand.

But We will know.  We will know that he is waiting for us. And we will work as quickly and efficiently as we can to not make him wait any longer than he absolutely has to.

The paperwork asks, " Describe your motivation to adopt this child in regards to his special needs."

What is our motivation to adopt this particular child?
I could say that We feel very strongly about this child.
I could say that We haven't encountered a child listed before that has tugged quite so firmly on our hearts.
I could say that there is something in his eyes that makes me want to scoop him up and protect him from every evil in the world.
I could say that we aren't even concerned about his special need.
I could say that we were committed to this child before we learned of his special need.
I could say that we are willing and able to love, provide for, and raise this child accepting his circumstance, his past, his special need and the unknowns of his future as part of the package.
I could say that I feel that God has guided us to The Child and basically said, "Here. Go." and I can't imagine telling him "No."
I could say that it hurts my soul to know that The Child does have a special need that isn't being addressed in  the orphanage.
I could say that We can not wait to get him the care and specialized attention he so desperately needs to be able to learn to function and excel in society.
I could say that I have no idea why we are motivated to adopt this child in regards to his special need, because his special need does not influence our desire to adopt him.  We are motivated to adopt this child because we are drawn to him, specifically.  His special need is a part of who he is. It makes him imperfect.  His special need is not the reason why we are motivated to adopt this child.

This Child is the reason why we are motivated to adopt This Child.

I could say all of that.

But there is only enough space for about two sentences of five to six words each.

All I know is that we are, indeed, motivated.

=)