The visits

It's no surprise that the children at the orphanage have a highly structured day. Our visits were worked to fall within the confines of that structure, and even so, we still interfered with Ivan's routine but he didn't seem to mind.  Every morning, we came in at 8 to visit in the tiny toy stuffed room until noon. We were visiting between Ivan's breakfast and lunch. He was easy to entertain and we spent some time allowing him to just be so we could watch him and see how he self soothes and stymies. His Baba came in for a little while during a few of our visits. We were able to glean a wealth of information from her through our translator and also by watching her interact with Ivan. It is a joy within my very soul to know that she has been loving him for the last two years. She loves ON him. She holds him and pets him and rocks him. She sings to him. She speaks to him, constantly. She teaches him and plays with him. She is a blessing to Ivan and to our family.

At noon, a staff person would collect Ivan from the visitation room and he would happily trot along side her back to his "home" room to have lunch and nap. He had no issues what so ever transitioning from one room to another, or from visiting with us to returning to his home room, or from leaving his home room to visit with us. He transitioned very well from each activity.

In the afternoons, we visited in a play therapy room that gave us a clear view of Ivan's home room. It is set up like a little apartment where he and 15 or so other children all reside with a rotation of staff present. The children play, eat, watch tv, everything within this little apartment like set up. It is a home like environment and they are making a true honest effort to provide the children with as close to a "normal" home life as is possible in a facility.

It was sad for us, because all the children in the group could see us during our afternoon visits with Ivan. Even though we were tucked into another tiny room crammed full of toys, the entire room was walled in windows. It was nice to see the other children going through their routines but it was heartbreaking to see their little eyes watching us so sadly as we played with Ivan.

He enjoyed us for the most part, but the evening visits were harder on him. He got tired of us rather quickly in the afternoons and was beyond ready to return to the group by the end of the visits.

Apparently the weather was kind of chilly while we were there? It was October and the temps were about the same as what we were having at home so I was thrown by the way the locals were bundled up in snow gear when the weather was just ... overcast and in the low 60's. Charlie and I joked, "Maybe it is because we are fat Americans and don't feel the cold as much." But there were two or three nice days where the staff let us take Ivan outside to the orphanage playground. One day, we had to bundle him up in this coat that was two sizes too big and vibrantly purple and it suited his skin tone perfectly. He really does look lovely in purple, I'm not even joking. On another day we went out, he had a blue one. I think it was just whatever coat was handy when they were preparing him for us.

We were able to observe him in the play structures. Our Ivan is a bit... I get the feeling he is typically lead to a toy and told to play and then he just kind of ... It's hard to explain. Because Ivan is not a typical child, even by orphanage standards, it's difficult to gauge him. He had zero interest in playing outside until Charlie started putting him up on the slide and letting him slide down. He lit up like Christmas and the Fourth of July together.

(I'll need to post the video separately. I can't get it to load within this post.)

You can kind of tell from the video that Ivan is only vaguely interested in us, even. He is spontaneous and unpredictable. It's going to be so much fun getting to know him once he is home. I hope to look back on these videos and have a new understanding of how he was feeling when these were shot after I know him better.

We were able to take him out of the orphanage one day to get his passport photo taken. We also learned that he's been outside of the orphanage grounds before to attend swimming therapy and horseback riding therapy! What a blessing!! His Baba came with us to assist and I'm so thankful we were able to witness her interacting with Ivan during this special time. I learned so much just being able to watch her work with him. For the photo, Charlie stood behind Ivan, helping to balance him on the stool and his Baba stepped into the room to help get his attention and direct him to look at the camera. The photographer ended up capturing an absolutely stunning shot of our child. We now have a beautiful professional photo of our son for his freakin' passport.  Thankfully, they let us have a digital copy.

They let us feed him dinner one night as well! His meal was a soup that my mother would have called "Goulash", a piece of plain white bread, and a cup of the watery yogurt that is popular to the area. He eats very slowly. We do know that he has the know how and ability to feed himself finger foods, though, since he would take pieces of bread that Charlie broke off and put them into his mouth. (!!!) This kid just spent the entire time we had with him blowing away all our expectations by being so very capable! I managed the spoon feeding him his soup and he was able to eat nearly the entire bowlful. I think he would have eaten it all but we ran out of time. All his room mates had finished their meals, had TV time, and were prepared for bed when a staff person came and let us know he needed to be finished now so he could be prepped for bedtime.   I wonder how much weight he'll gain when he's able to eat until he is full and not just until he runs out of time.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

(HOPEFULLY SOON)

(NO REALLY SOON)