In Awe

I'm watching the lightening bugs dancing in the front yard. 

This is the most down time I've had in two weeks.

I've been diligently writing on my "Autobiography."

It's a portion of the home study process that I'm hoping to get out of the way first.

Because writing is easy for me. 

I had met the 5 page requirement long before I'd even gotten to the important parts of why we are pursuing an adoption.  I've edited down to where there is about a page and a half for me to tell about The Child and his weight on our hearts.

He is a very heavy child to have been only 21 lbs at the beginning of this year.

Monday, when I dropped our things off at the Kids Mart Consignment sale, I realized that we will need a car seat for The Child when he comes home.  Just the thought of having a car seat for him in our van made me feel a bit teary eyed. 

I imagine him playing with Magda and Mordecai already.  I wonder how he will interact with them.  I wonder how they will adjust to him.  I wonder if he will be absolutely terrified at the sudden changes in his life or if he will enjoy and embrace them. All children respond differently. The Child is unique. He is his very own very special person who We are hoping to bring into our family.

Our family.

A unit already built, happily functioning without many kinks.

When he comes home, there will be upheaval. 

There will be tears, and arguments, and fear, and jealousy, and a lack of sleep.

 Lack of sleep is a given when bringing home any child.

But we will build a relationship with The Child.

A relationship between each member of our family with The Child.

A unique relationship that will be special to him.

Just as he will build a unique relationship to each of us.

And we will learn him as he will learn us.

And we will ALL learn to function together.

And we will rejoice.

I know that we are not The Child's "Plan A" from God.

I don't know why his "Plan A" didn't work. I hate to make assumptions because I am a Mother and I understand how I would do ANYTHING to benefit my children and give them a better life.  

Maybe We are not even His "Plan B", or even "Plan C" or "D"

But I feel that we have reached a point that We are a part of God's plan for The Child.

I don't care how far down the list we are, I hope to provide The Child with EVERYTHING that he needs to succeed in life.

Just like I strive to provide Magda and Mordecai everything they need to succeed in life.

It may be because I am partial but I honestly feel that Loving Parents and a functioning family with a stable home life are the basic necessities for any child to thrive.

When our children are in time out, they may not feel that we are Loving Parents but... I think we are.

If you attended a family gathering you may not think our family is functional... and you may be right, but we DO manage to function. Quirks and all.

If you looked at our daily life, it may seem hectic and lacking structure, but we ARE stable.

I am in complete awe of God's hand in this.

We heard that our family was being discussed during the service of a Church that we do not attend.

This is Amazing.

God is moving.

He is moving people.

He is touching hearts.

He has made this a much bigger outreach than I ever imagined.

He has people sharing our story. People We may have never met.

If he has brought you to this blog to follow our journey, That is amazing.
If He places on you the urge to share our story with others, That is amazing.

If He leads you to prayer for us, That is amazing.

We desperately need the support that God is gathering for our family.
We need the prayers.

We need to hear those kind words.

Even now, so early on, We are feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

How are we going to pay for all this?

How are we going to work quickly enough to get it done in just 6 months?

God's got this, though.

We can worry if we'd like.

But God's got this.

It leaves me standing in awe of His work.