Laying Low.

With the end of the year only days away, We find ourselves just nearly finished collecting our paperwork for the home study. We still have ONE document to obtain. I never EVER thought that our own government would be the one to drag us through such a long wait trying to get things done for this adoption. The Child's country? Yes. We came into this adoption knowing that life moves a touch slower in most of Eastern Europe. They still work with physical paper files over there. The system isn't computerized at all.

And after waiting 12 weeks for a divorce certificate, I'm not sure that being computerized helps.
However, We've been told to go ahead and mail in everything else. So as soon as the holidays pass, our homestudy paperwork will be in the mail. It would have happened the week of Christmas, but our entire household came down with the sickness. Just a cold? the flu? Who knows, but it has knocked me off my feet and the children are pitiful. We went in to the urgent care yesterday. I thank God for our insurance every time we have to see a doctor. Without it, I have no idea how we would afford medical care.

I don't know if you've seen it or not, but there has been an uproar in the adoption community over the last few weeks. Russia has completely shut down their adoption program with the US. There are rumors that the Ukraine will follow. Russia and Ukraine are THE most popular Eastern Europe adoption programs. They each have an overabundance of children who are in need of families and they were both fairly stable. Expensive, yes, but fairly stable. Now, I really don't know how this is going to affect the children living in those countries. One can only hope that other parents from other countries will be able to continue adopting from there and offer those children a different life than an orphanage setting can provide.  I don't know.

I do know that it is very scary.

Adoption programs change without warning. They close without warning.
And it doesn't matter how much money or time you have invested. It doesn't matter if your heart is already invested. It doesn't matter if in your heart of hearts that the child is already yours. Adoption programs change and close without warning.

The Child is not living in Russia or the Ukraine so for the moment we are just sitting back, holding our breath and watching. And while my heart aches for the children who may never grow up in a family because of the choices their government is making.... For the sake of one little boy who is already my son in my heart- We are going to lay low, stay quiet, work on our adoption as quickly as we can, and wait.

We've been told to be very careful not to mention where The Child lives, so if you know, Please do not post it here or on Facebook or anywhere else that is public online. If this blog up and disappears one day, it won't be because I don't want to share our journey anymore. It will be because I value the safety of our child (and bringing him home!) above whatever silly words I could ever type here.

We've also been informed that we may need to stop doing online fundraising. If that happens, it happens.  I am to the point that if they asked us to go into witness relocation for the remainder of the adoption, We would drop everything and do it.

God laid this on us. He lead us to The Child and said "Here."
He never promised this would be easy.
He never promised there would not be very scary stuff going on.
He never said it would happen on my timetable.

I can not pretend to say that I understand what God is doing here or that I can see where he is leading us. All I can say is that we will do everything within our power and ability to see this adoption through and bring home our son. We will work through each step as it comes to us and try not to worry about whats going on that is outside of our control.

This is not the first time nor, I am sure, will it be the last time that I am thankful that The Child can not be aware of what is going on. It is hard enough for me to process and deal with and I'm an adult. I pray he is playing with toys. I pray he is laughing. I pray he is running around giggling and throwing toys and being tickled and hugged. I pray he is having a normal (happy, fun) day for a 4 year old boy in an orphanage. I pray he is sleeping well and getting plenty to eat. I pray he is learning to speak. I pray, I pray, I pray.

And I pray, one day, he is able to do all those things in our family.
Until that day, We are going to lay low.
On our knees, in prayer.