Laying Low.

With the end of the year only days away, We find ourselves just nearly finished collecting our paperwork for the home study. We still have ONE document to obtain. I never EVER thought that our own government would be the one to drag us through such a long wait trying to get things done for this adoption. The Child's country? Yes. We came into this adoption knowing that life moves a touch slower in most of Eastern Europe. They still work with physical paper files over there. The system isn't computerized at all.

And after waiting 12 weeks for a divorce certificate, I'm not sure that being computerized helps.
However, We've been told to go ahead and mail in everything else. So as soon as the holidays pass, our homestudy paperwork will be in the mail. It would have happened the week of Christmas, but our entire household came down with the sickness. Just a cold? the flu? Who knows, but it has knocked me off my feet and the children are pitiful. We went in to the urgent care yesterday. I thank God for our insurance every time we have to see a doctor. Without it, I have no idea how we would afford medical care.

I don't know if you've seen it or not, but there has been an uproar in the adoption community over the last few weeks. Russia has completely shut down their adoption program with the US. There are rumors that the Ukraine will follow. Russia and Ukraine are THE most popular Eastern Europe adoption programs. They each have an overabundance of children who are in need of families and they were both fairly stable. Expensive, yes, but fairly stable. Now, I really don't know how this is going to affect the children living in those countries. One can only hope that other parents from other countries will be able to continue adopting from there and offer those children a different life than an orphanage setting can provide.  I don't know.

I do know that it is very scary.

Adoption programs change without warning. They close without warning.
And it doesn't matter how much money or time you have invested. It doesn't matter if your heart is already invested. It doesn't matter if in your heart of hearts that the child is already yours. Adoption programs change and close without warning.

The Child is not living in Russia or the Ukraine so for the moment we are just sitting back, holding our breath and watching. And while my heart aches for the children who may never grow up in a family because of the choices their government is making.... For the sake of one little boy who is already my son in my heart- We are going to lay low, stay quiet, work on our adoption as quickly as we can, and wait.

We've been told to be very careful not to mention where The Child lives, so if you know, Please do not post it here or on Facebook or anywhere else that is public online. If this blog up and disappears one day, it won't be because I don't want to share our journey anymore. It will be because I value the safety of our child (and bringing him home!) above whatever silly words I could ever type here.

We've also been informed that we may need to stop doing online fundraising. If that happens, it happens.  I am to the point that if they asked us to go into witness relocation for the remainder of the adoption, We would drop everything and do it.

God laid this on us. He lead us to The Child and said "Here."
He never promised this would be easy.
He never promised there would not be very scary stuff going on.
He never said it would happen on my timetable.

I can not pretend to say that I understand what God is doing here or that I can see where he is leading us. All I can say is that we will do everything within our power and ability to see this adoption through and bring home our son. We will work through each step as it comes to us and try not to worry about whats going on that is outside of our control.

This is not the first time nor, I am sure, will it be the last time that I am thankful that The Child can not be aware of what is going on. It is hard enough for me to process and deal with and I'm an adult. I pray he is playing with toys. I pray he is laughing. I pray he is running around giggling and throwing toys and being tickled and hugged. I pray he is having a normal (happy, fun) day for a 4 year old boy in an orphanage. I pray he is sleeping well and getting plenty to eat. I pray he is learning to speak. I pray, I pray, I pray.

And I pray, one day, he is able to do all those things in our family.
Until that day, We are going to lay low.
On our knees, in prayer.

An Apology

I follow adoption blogs.
I do it.
I enjoy reading other people's experiences.
Truthfully, and it is never more evident than when reading multiple adoption blogs, Every family is different. Every parent is different and Every Single Child is different. Every adoption experience is different. They can be a treasure trove of information, the adoption blogs.
So I follow them.

I followed a friend's adoption blog from beginning to end. She started her adoption journey almost 4 years ago. I followed her blog through her home study, dossier, match, and trip to pick up. I've followed her blog (and been blessed enough to be able to spend time with her) through out the last year that she has had her beautiful little girl home.

My friend would post sporadically.  Possibly once every two weeks. Seldom more often than that.  As a reader, as a friend, as a person concerned about her and her family and the process, I couldn't understand why she would go such long spells without making a post. I couldn't understand why she wouldn't feel compelled to share every tiny fragment of the process.

Now, I understand.
The adoption process is an awful lot of waiting.
There are weeks and weeks of absolutely nothing happening.
Sometimes, there is just nothing to share.

I've tried to keep this blog upbeat.
I haven't always hit the mark but I've tried.
And during these weeks upon weeks upon weeks of waiting....
I haven't had much of anything upbeat to say about our adoption process.

So I need to apologize to you. I'm sorry I haven't been posting here.
What I have been feeling and thinking about our current place in the process isn't very kind and probably shouldn't be said at all. Please forgive me?
I promise that I will post as soon as anything happens.

For the time being, Our little family is trying to focus on the holidays.
Magdalena's 4th birthday is this upcoming Monday. We are having a small party for her on the 8th. Nothing big but it will be just big and special enough for her. Just big and special enough to keep me mentally occupied for a while prepping for it.

Then we have Christmas. This year was going to be a rather thin Christmas for the kids. Charlie and I had already decided to forgo any gifts for ourselves. (If anyone is planning to get Charlie or Me any gifts, please consider making a donation towards the adoption instead? That would be a wonderful gift for us.) But that same friend whose adoption blog I followed, She cleaned out her children's toys and gifted so many nice things for us to wrap and have under the tree for Magda and Mordecai. I am so thankful for her kindness.  We already had a small amount of money set aside to shop the thrift stores for toys for the kids but her gifts will certainly fill up the area under the tree.

I am thankful that our children are still young enough to not notice the difference between a brand new toy and a cleaned up used toy, also. It helps me deal with the Mommy Guilt, knowing this.

Then we have Mordecai's 2nd birthday on January 1st. Once again, thankful for thrift store toys. Thankful he's young enough to still probably be more excited by a big box than any brand new gift we might could buy for him.

After these holidays, We are hoping that our paperwork that we have been waiting on will Finally be delivered. I really do not expect to see any forward movement in our adoption until after new years.



I can't make a post without thinking about The Child.
He will be spending his 3rd Christmas in the Orphanage.  I don't even know if they mark Christmas there. It may be just another day. He may have no idea what he is missing. The same as he may have no idea what he is missing without a family in his life.  The same as he may have no idea what he is missing without Jesus in his life.

Here I am, Thankful that my children at home are not so spoiled (or so jaded) that they will be happy to receive used toys and The Child may have never unwrapped a toy. He may have never had anything presented to him that is meant specifically for him.  The Child may never have had a toy that is his. New or used.

It makes me cry, thinking about it.

We believe his birthday is in March. He will be 4. Only months younger than Magda. I can not help but compare the life our daughter has led to the life The Child has led. Magda will have a 4th birthday surrounded by family, Her mom and dad and brother, Grandparents, Aunt and Uncle, and friends... all who love and care about her.  All people who have had an active role in her daily life. She will have cake! and icecream! and gifts! (even if they are used.)
The Child? Will he even know that it is his birthday? Will he have anyone to celebrate his birth? Will he have anyone to love on him? To make him feel cherished? Will he have cake? Will he have gifts? Will he be made to feel like nothing else in the world matters on that specific day because it is HIS birthday and that his birth is the most wonderful and beautiful moment that SOMEONE is so very thankful for?

I can't answer any of those questions.
It hurts.

I know that we will not have him home for his 4th birthday.  By the way things are going, We will be lucky to have him home by next Christmas.


I can't keep thinking about this.
It makes me cry.


~

A short update

I should probably put some kind of update here.
The thing is... I don't like blogging when I'm down and the last few weeks?
I've been feeling a little down.

The kidnapped Fundraiser went wonderfully! We were able to raise $217. It's so great that we have friends so willing to step out and ask on our behalf. That is $217 towards the home study payment.

And this new fundraiser through Celebrating Home is open until Nov 24th.  Every little bit helps towards that home study payment.

Whenever we finally get to the home study payment.

It is hard, this waiting.
We've been waiting on 4 state clearances and a divorce decree for nearly a month now.
It's hard not to feel dragged down.
It's hard not to feel angry and frustrated.

We have our "normal" life. We do our normal day to day things. But in the back of my mind is that angry little voice nagging: "Where are they?! What's taking so long!? Why is this process so difficult?! Why does it eat away so much time!? God, What are you doing here!?"

I've convinced myself that God is dragging this wait out to give us plenty of time to fund raise the home study payment. It doesn't make me feel any better. It makes me feel responsible for the length of the wait. If only we could fund raise quicker, God would let us move on. And that isn't fair. I don't have any control over or say in how God decides his timing...

Yesterday, I sat and watched the 45 seconds of video that we have of The Child.
Over and over and Over.
That's another thing. Forty Five Seconds. That's ALL the video that we have of him and it's likely all we will ever have until we meet him.
Forty Five Seconds.
I've completely memorized the entire clip.
I could give a play by play, down to reciting the gibberish lines that he tries to speak.
I could almost recite the "Eastern European" language the orphanage worker uses in the video.
And that worker.
I dream about her and The Child.
I haven't had a dream about him without Her right there beside him.
I dream of her holding The Child, rocking him to sleep.
I dream of her singing sweetly to him.
I dream of her calling his name, such a tender melody, as he runs into a hug.

I pray, so hard, that she does these things.
It hurts my heart to think that no one may be loving our son.
So I pray that she is.
Because I don't know how long this is all going to drag out.
And my tears are not a comfort to anyone.
So I pray that this orphanage worker is holding our son.
I pray she is singing to him.
I pray she is loving him.
Because He deserves love.

Kidnapped. Held Hostage. Ransom.

Please view THIS POST first.

Kidnapping really isn't something to make light of.
We're using the terms in our fundraising efforts
but I've been uncomfortable with it from the beginning.
People are taken from their families every day.
Children are stolen.
Held hostage.
Sometimes, if the family is lucky, there is a ransom.
A little glimmer of hope that their family member is alright and can be returned to them.

In this adoption, I've heard a lot about the fee's that we have to pay.

That's why we are fundraising, after all. To pay those fees.
I've come to think of those fee's-
That $20- $25,000 that this adoption will end up costing
As The Child's Ransom.


He has lost his family.
LOST.
He is suffering the greatest loss a child can have and it's possible he doesn't even know it.
He's never lived in a family setting.
But he has lost his family.

And now, he is being held by his country,
(while we try to jump through all the hoops
fill out all the paperwork
and sign documents in our own blood)
For a ransom.

A ransom we MUST pay to be able to allow him to have a family.

If you are reading this because a friend or family member has contacted you and said
"I'm kidnapped, being held hostage by a family who is fundraising for an adoption. Help me raise my ransom?"

Please, consider it. The ransom you contribute towards today isn't really your friend or family members ransom.

It's The Child's ransom.

Thank You.

Saturday Kidnapping

I've been teasing about a fundraiser that we'll be doing this Saturday.

Now I'll tell you what it is all about.

We have searched out and found 7 people who have volunteered to be Virtually Kidnapped. 

So for a few hours on Saturday, These volunteers will be held hostage until they are able to raise their ransom. 

So if you are contacted by someone who sent you to this blog saying, "I've been virtually kidnapped by a family who is fundraising for an adoption," You're at the right blog.

You can read about our family HERE.

You can read about our motivations to adopt HERE.

You can read about when we were Matched with The Child 

and Why we are adopting Internationally HERE.

You can read about how The Child's life will be changing HERE.

You're welcome to read back through the entire blog if you'd like. =)

So this event is going to work like so:

The people we have kidnapped have been given a ransom amount. They then have the day of Saturday to raise that amount. Every ransom will go towards the adoption fee's. 

The easiest way to help one of our kidnapped volunteers is to make a donation with the Chip In account, in the upper corner of the screen. It would be helpful if you note who's ransom you are donating towards.

Another way you can contribute towards a ransom is to mail your amount to us.  If you'd prefer to send in a check via the mail, check with your kidnapped person and they can give you our address. Or you can mail it to them and they will get it to us.

Another way is to hand them money in person. I trust these volunteers so if you hand them cash they will get it to us. They volunteered because they are eager to help us raise the funds needed to move along in this adoption process.

Thank You! If you have any questions You're welcome to contact us through our Facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/HughesFamilyAdoption

-Hughes Family.

October Is Almost Over

Thank You!

Our goal is to reach 300 marbles by the end of October.

Yesterday's yard sale was wonderful. 

Of course, we all got sunburned.

And are exhausted.

But we raised $412!

And we have another fund raising event this upcoming Saturday.

I am excited to see how this one goes. =)

I'll post more about it closer to the day.

And Then What?

Shakespeare Frustrates Me.

Bear with me.

Shakespeare had a knack for telling stories until they weren't finished.
The viewer, reader, primary witness sees the scope of the story only as far as the main character is involved.
Essentially, He loved to pick up a story half way through, toss the audience into it, drag them through in a whirl wind, then kill off the main character, ending the play before the story is told in full.
He leaves an awful lot of, "Yes, but then what?!"

Indeed, and then what?
And then what?
and THEN what?
And then....
You see how this goes.

I feel like we're stuck in a Shakespearean Play.
Maybe not a tragedy.
(Please, not a tragedy?)
But I feel like we have have stepped into a story half way told.
We're struggling to catch up with the back story.
We're trying desperately to see where The Author is taking us.
We're reading the description on the back and hoping that the story within doesn't stray too far from the ending we've imagined.
We're checking all the cliff notes.
We're reading the cross references.
We're trying desperately to keep up, keep pace, maintain memory of the back story while mentally reaching forward into the story in small increments,  tentatively feeling for a small foothold to propel us forward.

Or, at least, a cozy ledge to rest upon until the next flurry of excitement.

Right now, we're clinging to a ledge.
 Waiting.
There is no Great War to be fought.
There is no Great Enemy to vanquish.

There is only paperwork...

And One Child.
One Child, who is unaware that this play is even being performed.
How it will be for him, when we meet him?
Will he feel like he is in a Shakespearean play?
Tossed into a story half way told?

And when does the play end?
For Shakespeare, it's usually well before the story is fully told.
Because, really? is any story ever fully told?

In the big grand scheme of things,
the Big Story
the Rotation of the Earth
the Twinkle of the Stars
the Breath of the Universe
the Heartbeat of God,

This adoption journey we are on... is nothing.
But to us, it is everything.
And to The Child?
It will be life changing.

Right now, we wait.
Play our tiny part.
See where The Author takes us.
and Pray.


And this is where we breathlessly ask,
And then what?
And THEN what?
And then....

Don't be afraid.

Yesterday we had the pleasure of babysitting one of my great nieces, Aubrey. 

She is just a few months younger than our Mordecai so it makes for a fun filled day when she visits.

The three children often play together in the bedrooms with the toys.

I overheard Magdalena telling Aubrey, "It's okay. Don't be afraid." 

She said, "God is with you. You don't need to be afraid."

I could have cried.

"It's okay."

"Don't be afraid."

"God is with you."

"You don't need to be afraid."

After a day spent in angry, 

sorrowful prayer on Tuesday

 where I focused on

 all of God's plans which I need not understand,

THIS

is exactly what I needed to hear.

"God, I'm freaking out down here. 

This isn't going like I'd hoped. 

I'm afraid. 

I'm worried.

 I'm constantly thinking about The Child. 

Please help me."

and He comes back with

"I know."

"It's okay."

"Don't be afraid." 

"I'm with you."

"You don't need to be afraid."

"I've got this."

"Promise."

"Trust Me."

Peace.

It may not be apparent but I enjoy feeling in control of my life.

This adoption? I have no control over it.

None.

This is God's work.

I'm learning to do my small part

then try to enjoy the ride.

It's a daily struggle.

There are SO many Highs in this process.

And SO many Lows, as well.

We swing from pure joy

to overwhelming sorrow in seconds.

The joy of watching The Child

our son

walking unassisted on a video

when his file said that he could not walk unsupported.

Pure. Joy.

Then to know that it will be nearly a year before we can bring him home.

To know that he has to spend 

every

single

day

of his life

in the orphanage.

Without the love of a parent.

And to know that there is 

NOTHING 

we can do

 to help him any 

QUICKER.

Overwhelming sorrow

 doesn't fully convey the 

emotional turmoil

 that kind of knowledge brings with it.

All we have is God's plan.

The peace He affords us.

And to know that HE knows.

He's got this.

We don't need to be afraid.

The October Prize Give Away!

As Promised,

Here is the October Prize Give Away!

A friend has been kind enough to donate a 

BRAND NEW

IN THE BOX

SINGER SEWING MACHINE!

If you click on the picture it will open to a larger version.

How this give away will work:

We will have a roll of tickets.

If you'd like to enter to win this prize,

Make a $1 donation for the intended purpose of having a ticket entered,

fill out your name, phone number and address

and we will enter your ticket into the drawing.

A $1 donation gets one ticket.

A $20 donation gets 20 tickets.

We will accept donations for tickets until Tuesday, October 30th.

On Wednesday, October 31st,

We will take a video of Magda choosing the winner.

Contact the winner.

Then post here about it.=)

Someone who purchases a ticket will have this Sewing machine in their home.

And since this thing is 

BRAND NEW

IN THE BOX!

You could enter to win it

to give it as a Christmas gift!

if you want=)

So there she is.

Let us know if you'd like to donate for a ticket.=)

Oh, If you don't live locally

(Within an hour drive from us)

And you'd like to donate for a ticket to win this prize,

Please be aware,

If you win and this needs to be shipped to you,

You'll need to cover the shipping.

Sorry.

Thank you!

This Week in Our Adoption

We're working on the medical examinations for

every

single

person

in the

household.

Yep.

Possibly,

We won't know for sure until later in the week,

but it's possible,

we may have all of the paperwork finished by this weekend.

We might can mail it in to the agency early next week.

Maybe this weekend's fund raising Yard Sale will be spectacular.

We're packing the entire yard sale up and taking it to  Main Street in Blountsville this Saturday.

Hope to see you there!

Oh, We wrapped up last month yesterday with a whopping 

181 Marbles

 in the Marble Jar

That's only 19 short of our Goal for last month.

Thank you so much for every single donation!

Thank you for shopping our yard sales

And Thank you for buying our crafts.

I keep saying it But I feel like it needs to be said often:

EVERY DONATION HELPS!

And We appreciate it.

Really.

Ya'll have no idea.

Thank You=)

Life is Experience

This evening I took the kids outside.
It was already dark and the moon shone full and bright in the sky above us.
We played, barefoot, in the moist grass in the pale moon light.
Child laughter filled the shadows around us.

We weren't doing anything special.
I found these little bouncy balls at the dollar place.
They light up when they bounce.
We were outside playing fetch with those balls.
I would toss them, bounce them, make them light up
the children would run through the grass, laughing, chasing the flashing, bouncing light
then race to return their ball for me to toss again.

Nothing special. Not really.

Then we came in and cuddled up on the sofa to watch a movie together.
Coraline.
One of Magda's favorite movies.
The three of us piled on that couch together, chattering away about the movie as it played.

Nothing special.

Then I got Mordecai ready for bed.
I tickled and "gobbled" on him to make him laugh while we got his pajamies on.
I laid him down, gave him hugs and kisses, and gave him his B (his Linus blanket.)

Magda is finishing her movie just now.
But I was thinking....
This afternoon, we haven't done anything really special.
Not really.

But I've heard other parents who have adopted from the same area where The Child is talk about how little Experience their children had while in the orphanage.
It is quite possible that The Child has never seen the moon.
He's probably never been outside the orphanage building at night.
It's possible he's never laughed in the moonlight.
In fact, it's quite likely that he's never been outside the orphanage grounds at all.
We've found out that he lives in a more prosperous area of the Country.
The picture we've seen on Google are amazing.
It's a beautiful area.
And the first time The Child will experience it is when we go to bring him home.
He has never seen the area where he lives.
It breaks my heart.
To think of him, while taken care of, basically trapped in side a building for the last 3 years.

I think of everything that Magda and Mordecai have experienced in their short lives.
Magda's been on a plane. She's swam in the ocean.  She's felt that warm California sand beneath her toes. She and Mordecai have been to Tennessee. they've been to Georgia.  To the Zoo. To the Aquarium.
And even more simple things.
They've rode in the car.
They've been inside a grocery store.
They've been to the movies!
They've been to Church.
They've been exposed to God.
And Love.
And Wonderful
Fun
Gloriously
Different
Experiences.

They've been dressed every morning by the same person.
They've been made breakfast, on request (some day's I play short order cook. What mom hasn't?)
They've had a consistent loving parent to kiss a BooBoo, or dry a tear, to hug away a fear.

They've had snuggles.
They've slept in our bed when it was necessary.
And in our floor beside the bed when it was necessary.

And it brings me to tears.
I wonder, has The Child ever had the comfort of climbing into a bigger bed for snuggles if he was having a bad dream?

The Child.
The beautiful Child.
His life right now is not horrible.
He has adult supervision.
He has meals.
He has a bed.
He has some interaction at some point.

What he doesn't have is A Mom.
or A Dad.

Someone to snuggle him when he's had a bad dream.
A daddy to kiss a scraped knee.
A mommy to scramble another egg to help The Child gain some weight.
He's so skinny. They're all skinny over there. All the children are so thin.
They're given the very basics to allow them to survive.
They are lacking the very basics that are essential to help them thrive.
Consistent Love.
Real meals.
One on One attention.
 Love.
 Guidance.
 Physical closeness.
 Emotional closeness.
And Experience.
They are lacking the Experiences that make up Life.

Laughing in the moonlight.
Running barefoot through dewy grass.
Riding in the car listening to parents talk in the front seats.
Singing hymns in Church.
Pulling toys from the shelves in a store.
Watching a parade.
Playing in the sand.
Counting the stars.

The Child wont have these experiences where he is now.
He wont have them for years... if at all.

His entire life.
Every.
Single.
Day.
Consists of one building.
One play yard.
and a constant shift change of caregivers.

It really, seriously, breaks my heart.
Oh, How his life would change in our family.

Move Along

Yesterday we all had the FBI/ ABI fingerprinting done.
The kind officers up at Hanceville Police Department made it a not so awkward experience.  Even though we ended up needing to take our paperwork back after we had left to get them to sign a spot they had missed.
It happens.
We also go the certified, raised seal, copy of the deed and the bank letter.
Our case manager for the Home Study warned us that the Bank letter would be the most difficult thing to get. I called up to the bank, told them what I needed and they said "Sure. We can do that anytime."
I love our bank.
The notary there already recognizes us and asks about the adoption. =)

The last thing on our check list is Doctor appointments for everyone in the household so as to get the Physical paperwork filled out.
We also have the added bonus of filing for CAN's checks in every state everyone in the household has ever lived in. Since my mom was a military wife and my husband served in the military, too, We have a fair few states to file with.

Who knows how long that will take.

We looked over the paperwork today and were reminded that, while the $1,700 that has been given in donations is AWESOME, it is also just the beginning. It's already been spent. On application fee's, and birth certificates, and FBI fingerprinting.
When we finish with all the Home Study paperwork and prepare to send it in, we need to send $2,200 in with it. That covers the extent of the Home Study but it is due upon submission and in a lump sum.

Also, When we are accepted into the "Eastern Europe" adoption program of our Placing agency, we need to be able to provide them with $3,000. In a lump sum. Another $3,000 is due to our placing agency when we send them the Home Study and they approve it.

That's $8,000 just in fee's that we will be expected to pay within the next few months.

Then there is nearly $10,000 in foundation fee's we will be expected to pay when we submit the dossier.

And then about $5,000 in travel expenses for the two trips out there and back.


Thinking about it, I'm on the verge of panic.
Then I remind myself, God will provide.

Even with that knowledge, I'm feeling a bit panicked.


We're working on planning a few bigger events.
And selling a few high priced items that we own.
If you have a suggestion, please feel free to share it with us.
Or a donation. We're still gladly accepting those.

I keep praying "Six months. Six months."
God says "I know. Relax. I've got this."
and still I pray, "Six months. Six months."


We found out some wonderful news about The Child last night that I really can't share here.
But suffice it to say that we have a much better idea of where we will be traveling when we go to meet him.
=)
Also, found out how his name is pronounced.
We still want to keep his name but we may need to toy with the spelling so people will pronounce it correctly.
We do live in the south. lol


So there we go. Moving along in the Home Study process.

The Impossible Weekend

Last week, at the final count, we had 117 marbles.

After the last week of donations,

 and this weekend's yard sale and craft sale, 

we now have 171 marbles in our marble jar.

At $10 a marble, we've raised $1,710.

(Which is awesome!)

(THANK YOU!)

That's just about $300 shy of the goal we had set to raise this month.

So that's not bad. 

We might can raise that within the next week.

We decided to take next weekend off on the yard sale, too.

We need some time to gather new donated items, sort them, regroup and rest.

We also need a weekend to try and do some of the required home study and dossier elements.

Thank you, to everyone who has donated.

We know there is no way we can fund raise the entire amount needed to complete this adoption.

We're already needing to cut "normal" things from our daily lives

to be able to pay for Adoption things as we complete them.

Life doesn't stop for an adoption. 

It doesn't pull over and allowed bills to not be paid 

or families not to need to eat 

or kids not to need gifts on holidays 

or families not to need a vacation.

Those daily life needs still must be met.

We just have to be creative.

We meet those needs just like we were doing before the adoption.

Your donations are helping the process move 

more quickly

than we could ever do it alone.

And since we only have 6 months, now,

More Quickly

Is 

NECESSARY.

=)

And now, I'm going to bed.

I am exhausted.

MATCHED!

The Child's government has Matched him with our family.

It's like a pre-approval.

We sent in the short from, "Hi, We're the Hughes Folk. Here's a general outline of who we are."

They looked it over and said, "Send us the full report. Until then, He'll be on hold for you."

Can I describe the jig I danced this morning?

It was quite happy and surely embarrassing but fully of thanks.

Charlie was so excited when he saw the email, he came to wake me up at 1am to show me.

I was thrilled, of course, and also so relieved that I was able to roll over and go back to sleep. LOL

So, like I said, Six month time crunch is ON.

We're only about $600 short of our goal of 2k by the end of this month.  It's been wonderful the amount of support that has poured in to help our family.

We had a couple stop at the yard sale today who had seen the ad in the shoppers guide, visited the blog, and decided to come. That makes me so happy. We chatted while they shopped. They were sweet and I enjoyed their company.

There were some good questions I thought I might could answer on here, too.

"Why," She asked, "are you needing to go all the way to *The Child's Country* to adopt? Why can't you adopt from here?"

That question is very common. Yes. There are a LOT of children here, in the US foster system who need families. I know this. It is painful knowing this. Charlie and I spent a few years as foster parents so we were able to see just how our foster system works. It does provide for the need that children have when they are unable to live with their biological families but some children are left lacking the stability of a committed, forever family.

We are acutely aware of this.

However, When I first saw The Child and his information, We were not even thinking of adoption in our near future. Truthfully, We weren't thinking of adoption in our father-into-the-future future either.  We had about decided that our 4 children (the older boys at 18 and 19, then Magda at nearly 4 and Mordecai at nearly 2) were plenty for our family. We were done family building.

Then, I saw The Child. I read the paragraph of information about him. While it stated that he lived "Internationally", it didn't state his country. They aren't allowed to. Just like I'm not allowed to.

It was a prayerful, discussed in depth, tossing many concerns out on the table month while We wrestled with What, exactly, we were supposed to do with The Child and this heavy feeling he put on our hearts.

Because we were done growing our family, remember? 

We weren't planning an adoption.

Yeah, I've learned that God doesn't really care about what we are planning when HE is planning things.

And His plans? They are big.

Much bigger than anything Charlie and I could have thought up ourselves.

So we committed to pursue adopting The Child.

It just so happens that he lives "Internationally".

He can't help that. It's not his fault where he was born.

Just like it's not his fault to whom he was born.

It's not his fault the race he was born.

It's not his fault that he has a special need.

It's not his fault that we didn't plan ahead for this.

We didn't feel called to adoption, in general, for this situation.

We feel called to The Child.

So that's why we have to go all the way to his country to adopt.

 Because that's where he lives. 

Because that's where God placed him. 

And As long as it is HIS will,

That's where we will be going to visit The Child.

Then bring him home!

Because We've been MATCHED!

Magdalena: Master of the Marbles!

One marble from the Chip In! (Thank You!)

One marble from an in person donation! (Thank You, too!)

(And I let her add 3 more marbles from an early shopper to the yard sale.)

(Mom's a sucker for letting a girl add marbles.)

Her day?
MADE.

Thank You. =)

We will get more creative with the photo's for the next donation.

hehehe

Home Study Final Application:

Otherwise Known As

"While We Wait to Hear that The Child is On Hold."

(It hasn't really been a long wait, as per usual adoption process standards,

 but it has been a tortuously quiet wait. Which makes us nervous. )

Here's where we are in the Final Application process.

 When we check all these boxes, 

we can mail it in to the home study agency 

and they will check it over 

and assign us a worker to complete the in person visits and home check.

 I'm giddy.

I had hoped that we would have all these documents ready by this Friday.

We found out Yesterday that there is one document 

that we will need to wait for (possibly) WEEKS on.

That has allowed us to step back and take a breath,

knowing that no matter how quickly we do the rest, 

we will still be waiting on that one document.

Knowing that we are going to be waiting anyway,

we are trying to plan and schedule the remaining items

because funds are considerably tight.

Did ya'll know that they charge to take a passport photo? 

I didn't. 

I never thought it would be close to 25 bucks a piece, either.
Or that passport applications cost $135 just to process?

Or that it's $27 (in Alabama) to get 3 copies of a single birth certificate?

We had to get 3 copies for 3 people.

At least they only charged full price for the first copy of each one.

 Each additional copy was just $6. Each.

Charlie's state charged him full price for all 3 of his copies.

It was nearly $80 just for his birth certificates.

Our Yard Sale funds are depleting quickly.

We have 8 (and a half, Charlie's Autobiography) documents to finish up.

Two fundraising events going on this weekend.

The Yard Sale

Thursday, Friday, and Saturday 

this week.

And the Craft Sale at Heritage Park

Saturday.

We have had SO many items donated to the yard sale, 

Now we need shoppers!

Grandma and I have been working diligently on our crafts.

(She's made a LOT more crafts than I have.)

(And they're beautiful.)

(Just saying.)

And we should know how we did at the Kids Mart sometime next week.

I'm not holing my breath but

every little bit helps.

This afternoon, Magdalena was gazing into the marble jar looking very thoughtful.

"Mom, can I put a marble in there? Please?

So I told her I'd ask Ya'll.

For the rest of this week, 

Any amount donated through our Chip In account

I'll take a picture of Magda dropping the marbles into the jar

and share the pictures here. =)

$10 for a marble.

Make a little girl's day.

Help a little boy come home.

=)

A Mad House

It's been 3 weeks since we made the decision to jump into this process

 and it has been an utterly wild 3 weeks. 

We've been busy

 constantly 

working on fundraising

the yard sales

the crafting projects

working through paperwork

gathering documents

compiling references

stalking our email

on top of work

and Magda and Mordecai

laundry

dishes

sweeping

.

.

.

bathing. 

It's a mad house.

I want to work quicker. 

I want to have everything done already!

It's going to take time.

So we do what we can.

Leave the rest.

That "Perfect Timing" thing.

Yes.

Marble Jar: Second Weekend!

At the end of last weekend's fundraising efforts,

 we had 72 marbles in our jar.

This weekend's efforts were not quite as impressive. 

I'd forgotten that the fair parade was today.

But we still did very well.

And had a fair few people stop by.

=)

After our final count tonight,

we had 

117 

marbles in our marble jar.

Which is awesome, since we are gathering documents for our home study.

We are getting 3 copies of everyone's birth certificates.

The same number in about 4 other documents that must be Certified.

And our passports. 

We are hoping (!) to have ALL of our documentation gathered by the 22nd.

We are hoping (!) to be able to mail it all in after our fundraising activities planned for this upcoming week.

Thank you!

In Conversation

I just laid Mordecai and Magdalena down for bed.

We read a few books before bedtime. 

We sat on the floor and snuggled.  

We played a fun game of

 "Don't throw that. Please? Hold on to it. Oh. Now go get it. Hold on to it. Don't throw it again. Oh."

Then we went through the snacks, drinks, bathroom routine. Then I was able to lay them both down. Hugs and kisses. Wishes of sweet dreams. Close the door. Take a deep breath and celebrate another day accomplished.

Tonight, I stood at their doors listening.  

Both of them, in bed, in their rooms alone, were talking. 

Just talking. 

Having private conversations with themselves and God.

I giggled, thinking of how Mordecai's conversation about

 "Bite MawMaw Mean. Be Nice. Trouble."

 and so on was an interesting prayer for God's ears

 then it struck me that the way those two are talking,

 right now,

 out loud,

 about whatever is in their minds

could be the most beautiful prayer to God.

A daily walk. It doesn't have to be formal. 

I tend to talk with God about what I feel is important.

maybe to Him,

just maybe,

Everything is important.

"The trouble with knowing people, you see, is that everything's relevant. 

Nothing is a digression."

Every Moment truly is a Highlight.

It's hard for me to wrap my head around.

But Magdalena and Mordecai get it.

I pray, one day, I will be able to stand outside the boy's room after I've closed their door for the night and I will hear The Child's voice. I pray he will learn from our example, and Mordecai's nightly chats with God, and that he will speak with God with that same candor. 

Because Mordecai's story to God about how he didn't actually bite Grandma but knew not to bite Grandma because it is mean to bite and biting would land him in trouble and that he should be nice instead? 

That is important to God.

Magdalena's story about how her friend fell and how her friend's mommy came and kissed a scraped knee and how Magda loves her friends and her Mommy and Daddy and Brothers?

  That is important to God.

Our prayers that our family not only survive but continue to be stable and thriving during the stresses and unknowns of the adoption process?  Our prayers that God help us to remember to focus on the little daily things?  A frustrated prayer while a child is tantruming for no reason? 

That is important to God.

And The Child? He is important. 

To us and to God.

His needs are important.

His life is not irrelevant.

He is not a digression.

He is a Highlight.

I know that God is listening to him already.

The Child and God.

I can not wait to eavesdrop on those two in Conversation.

In Awe

I'm watching the lightening bugs dancing in the front yard. 

This is the most down time I've had in two weeks.

I've been diligently writing on my "Autobiography."

It's a portion of the home study process that I'm hoping to get out of the way first.

Because writing is easy for me. 

I had met the 5 page requirement long before I'd even gotten to the important parts of why we are pursuing an adoption.  I've edited down to where there is about a page and a half for me to tell about The Child and his weight on our hearts.

He is a very heavy child to have been only 21 lbs at the beginning of this year.

Monday, when I dropped our things off at the Kids Mart Consignment sale, I realized that we will need a car seat for The Child when he comes home.  Just the thought of having a car seat for him in our van made me feel a bit teary eyed. 

I imagine him playing with Magda and Mordecai already.  I wonder how he will interact with them.  I wonder how they will adjust to him.  I wonder if he will be absolutely terrified at the sudden changes in his life or if he will enjoy and embrace them. All children respond differently. The Child is unique. He is his very own very special person who We are hoping to bring into our family.

Our family.

A unit already built, happily functioning without many kinks.

When he comes home, there will be upheaval. 

There will be tears, and arguments, and fear, and jealousy, and a lack of sleep.

 Lack of sleep is a given when bringing home any child.

But we will build a relationship with The Child.

A relationship between each member of our family with The Child.

A unique relationship that will be special to him.

Just as he will build a unique relationship to each of us.

And we will learn him as he will learn us.

And we will ALL learn to function together.

And we will rejoice.

I know that we are not The Child's "Plan A" from God.

I don't know why his "Plan A" didn't work. I hate to make assumptions because I am a Mother and I understand how I would do ANYTHING to benefit my children and give them a better life.  

Maybe We are not even His "Plan B", or even "Plan C" or "D"

But I feel that we have reached a point that We are a part of God's plan for The Child.

I don't care how far down the list we are, I hope to provide The Child with EVERYTHING that he needs to succeed in life.

Just like I strive to provide Magda and Mordecai everything they need to succeed in life.

It may be because I am partial but I honestly feel that Loving Parents and a functioning family with a stable home life are the basic necessities for any child to thrive.

When our children are in time out, they may not feel that we are Loving Parents but... I think we are.

If you attended a family gathering you may not think our family is functional... and you may be right, but we DO manage to function. Quirks and all.

If you looked at our daily life, it may seem hectic and lacking structure, but we ARE stable.

I am in complete awe of God's hand in this.

We heard that our family was being discussed during the service of a Church that we do not attend.

This is Amazing.

God is moving.

He is moving people.

He is touching hearts.

He has made this a much bigger outreach than I ever imagined.

He has people sharing our story. People We may have never met.

If he has brought you to this blog to follow our journey, That is amazing.
If He places on you the urge to share our story with others, That is amazing.

If He leads you to prayer for us, That is amazing.

We desperately need the support that God is gathering for our family.
We need the prayers.

We need to hear those kind words.

Even now, so early on, We are feeling stressed and overwhelmed.

How are we going to pay for all this?

How are we going to work quickly enough to get it done in just 6 months?

God's got this, though.

We can worry if we'd like.

But God's got this.

It leaves me standing in awe of His work.

A moment in time.

We hadn't really decided about when to tell our daughter, Magda, about The Child.
We had talked about how very very very long 9 to 12 months is to a person who is only nearing 4. That's a good fourth of her life span. And our youngest son, Mordecai, is only nearing 2.  It's half his life.

In other words, It's a very long time to ask them to wait for a big event.

This morning, though, Charlie had opened the video we have of The Child and, on a whim, started it playing when our daughter was in the room. Upon hearing the talking and laughter, She ran to the computer to be able to see the video.

"Who's that boy?" She asked.
"That's *The Child." Charlie answered. "He lives very far away."
"Where's his Mommy?" I kid you not, She asked this, tugging on my heart strings.
"His Mommy couldn't take care of him so She let him live in this place. It's an orphanage. It's where children live when they don't have a Mommy or Daddy to take care of them." Charlie said.
"He doesn't have a Mommy? or Daddy?" She asked.
"No, he doesn't. That's very sad. You have a Mommy and Daddy who love you very much."

A moment passed. A quiet moment where I wasn't sure what she was processing from the conversation.

"That's my brother." She said with finality.
"That's my brother, *The Child."

I had to turn away. Take a deep breath.  Wipe a few tears from my cheeks.

Charlie said, "Yes, baby. We hope he will be."


She asked to watch the video a handful more times then she was off to play.

So I suppose that's how we're going to handle the introduction of the idea.
Slowly.
Gently.
Over time.

-"Who's that boy?"
"*The Child"
-"That's my brother."
"We're working on that, baby."

I love her open, loving heart.
I love that Charlie wasn't afraid.  I love how he navigated the conversation with her.
I love having him to hold my hand and soothe my frayed nerves through this.
I love having Magda to run through the house chasing, tickling her until she snorts.
I love having Mordecai to blow raspberries on my arms and tell me elaborate stories with the 20 words in his vocabulary.

The little moments.
It's easy to lose them when we are busy. Working. Gathering paperwork or preparing for the sales.
It's easy to overlook what's important.

The little moments are important. The ones that aren't planned.
Spur of the moment.
On a whim.
Beautiful moments.

"That's my brother."

---------
*We have started calling him by his proper name around here but I'm not able to share his name online, still.

When You Ask

God Provides:

Even though we had been threatened with rain for Saturday, 

God provided a nice, cool, somewhat damp but not rainy day.

Even though I was certain our efforts at advertising the sale weren't good enough,

God provided by making those efforts enough.

Even though we were sure that no one would want to turn up our drive 

and mosey up that scary looking dirt road,

God provided.

Over the course of 2 days,

God sent SO many people 

who were excited about our efforts

and willing to browse the sale

and buy the stuff

and make donations

and look at a picture of The Child

and listen to me tell our story.

We were hoping to raise at least half of our initial application fee.

God laughed at this feeble goal.

He provided.

There are now 72 marbles in our Marbles Jar.

That's enough to cover the ENTIRE application fee.

I could cry.

Giving this to God.

Totally

 Absolutely

 Entirely.

He will provide.

This week, 

We will be working as quickly as we can to gather the documents and fill out the paperwork to begin the Home Study. 

How long the home study takes depends solely on how fast we work.

And how soon we can far the accompanying fees.

So this week we will also be working on our items for the Kids Mart.

And accepting donations of Items still for the Sale again this upcoming weekend.

You'd be surprised what has sold. 

So if you're thinking of donating

and you think

"Who would buy that?"

That's probably the item you should donate.

lol

We are overwhelmed with the support that people are so willing to give.

I'm on the verge of happy, grateful tears almost always.

Thank you.

And those who are praying for us:

Please keep praying.

And add a prayer of Thankfulness

Because God provides.

The Marble Jar

Last night, I had the idea to try and keep up with the money we've raised for the adoption with a visual aid.  

I have plenty of big glass jars laying around so I grabbed one of those. 

Then I saw the box of marbles sitting on the shelf and I grabbed those too.

The birth of the Marble Jar.

For every $10 that we raise, I add one marble.

Yesterday, I added 4 marbles for the $40 in the Chip In account. =)

Today, during the yard sale, I was able to add 19 more marbles.

What a blessing=)

When it's all said and done with,

When all the fee's and expenses are paid, 

We will need over 2,000 marbles in this jar.

A friend has offered to "Sponsor" a marble by mailing in a donation.

Every donation made into the chip in account,

every donation made by shopping our sales,

every donation made as a gift,

every single donation will add marbles to this jar.

This jar will only hold marbles,

but we know those marbles represent 

Love,

 Kindness,

 Friendship, 

and Caring Support 

needed to bring The Child home.

What a wonderful reminder of our support system this Jar will be.

Thank you, to everyone who has donated already.

Time, 

 Items to sell, 

Money,

And Support.

We are 19 marbles closer to Bringing The Child home.

=)

Fundraising Crafts!

I've had a friend ask for photo's of the crafts that we are making for fundraising.

So, here we go =)

These are the beautiful crochet necklaces that we are working diligently to make up. 

We only have 3 "colors" right now.

Green:

Purple:

Gold:

These are the cloth bracelets that I am making.  

The lady who made the tutorial and pattern kindly offered to let us make and sell these until Christmas. =) 

Each one is different.

 Either by the colors used, or the button added, or the material colors. 

Right now we only have reds, whites and greens 

but soon there will be purples and blacks and other colors available, too.

These are some bracelets that my Mom is crocheting. 

Each one will be unique.

She is using a different style stitch on each one.

A different button added.

And a random yarn. 

These two just happen to both be red. =)

We also have some super cute scarves  that I couldn't get a good picture of.  

We have the scarves in Blue, Purple, White, Black, Pink and Yellow.

I'll try tomorrow to get a better picture of them in the light.

We're asking for a $15.00 donation for each item.

If you're interested:

 leave a comment here or send me a message on Facebook.  =)

Thanks!